FCT #8: the prickly bits

Sometimes life is like a big hairy chestnut.

Okay. So it's not the best analogy in the world but I'm using what's around me to talk about what's inside me.

Somewhere within this big hairy life of mine is a sweet - and nutty - centre. (Not unlike my own centre.) I'm trying to remember that as I deal with some big hairy stuff this week. Don't get me wrong. My stuff is actually small in the great scheme of things. I (always, always) acknowledge how lucky I am to be angsting only about the occasional failure or question mark or black mood, rather than famine or flood or disease. But the small things still hurt. And this week I've been hurting.

I fell for the wrong guy and got rejected in a raw, painful, capital letters, R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D kinda way. It's been a while and I forgot how much that shit hurts. I know how it hurts to fight for it and not be able to save it. I know how it hurts to lose it. I know how it hurts to screw it up. But to have it right there in front of me, to see and taste and feel it, and then have it pulled out from under me. Yep. That shit hurts.

These moments make it tempting to give up on love. To say no way, too hard. But I refuse. I'm gonna keep on feeling it, keep on chasing it, remain open to it. And I invite y'all to do the same. Don't let rejection or cynicism or cowardice defeat you.

Oh, and do something sweet with those big hairy chestnuts...

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Lulu's chocolate & hazelnut torte

4 eggs, separated
½ cup castor sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon brandy
280g can chestnut spread or puree
½ cup self-raising flour
1 cup cream
90g dark chocolate
1 cup cream, extra
60g chocolate, extra

Beat egg yolks, sugar and vanilla together until thick and creamy. Add brandy and ½ cup chestnut spread (reserving remaining for filling). Lightly fold in sifted flour and mix thoroughly. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and gently fold into cake mixture.

Spread cake mixture evenly into two prepared 8-inch round sandwich pans. Bake in a moderate oven, 20-25 minutes.

Melt 90g chocolate, cool slightly, then spread evenly on flat side of each cake. Whip 1 cup cream and fold in remaining chestnut spread, then spread on flat side of 1 of the cakes. Sandwich together.

Refrigerate cake until cooled, then serve with remaining whipped cream and grated chocolate. 
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FCT #7: scones amongst the roses

Poor lonely little blog. I'm not finding much time to write but am hardly surprising myself, given everything that's going on right now. The last nine-ish days have been huge. Huuuuuuuuge week - getting the perfect new job, starting my first pre-service teaching placement, bashing out three assessments. Even huuuuuuuuger weekend - time with my gorgeous girls Gin and Smokey, about ten Favourite Canberra Things achieved but in no way documented, a little bitta lovin, a little bitta emotional fallout, roller derby madness, much-needed hugs.

I've been in recovery mode for the last two days. Trying to pare it all back again. Getting back on the study horse one textbook chapter at a time. Finding moments of sanity in cleaning the bathroom and writing up placement notes. Practicing choir parts at the top of my lungs. Finding my feet and sucking my muscles towards my bones at yoga.

(Deep breath in. Deep breath out.)

Jo brought a batch of fresh scones to uni today, and we ate them in the rose garden with Alissa's homemade rhubarb and apple jam. We had spent two hours grappling with maths, aided by our wonderful teacher and her unifix blocks. And then there we were amongst the roses, the sun peeking out from behind the clouds at last. Sunshine, scones and solidarity. There was no avoiding the most obvious of thoughts: I am so fucking lucky.

FCT #6: the birds, the birds!

Beautiful little friends in next door's Indian Bean Tree (Catalpa bignonioides).

FCT #5: flint dining room + bar

Okay. So I am supposed to be writing an assignment right now... not writing about food... again. But I thought I'd capture another tick on the list before it fades from memory like a wisp of pink fairy floss.

On Sunday night I was lucky enough to be shouted dinner at Flint Dining Room & Bar in New Acton. It's a pretty sweet new restaurant on the Canberra scene. In fact, New Acton is a pretty sweet new locale on the Canberra scene. My suitor and I spent most of the night trying to pick what existed there before, which I do a lot nowadays. Hmmmm. I know that hasn't always been there. But what was there before? Oh, that's right, a dodgy demountable full of science nerds.

It turns out that what was there before was the Hotel Acton, which was built in 1927 and spent the next 80-odd years sliding slowly into disrepair before having the bejeezuz redeveloped out of it. Actually, from what we could see the redevelopment has been done sensitively - thank goodness. Fancy apartments have been built across the front and sides, but the horseshoe of original hotel buildings remains, along with some gorgeous old trees. It gives the central courtyard a secluded and intimate feel, and that's where the majority of the eateries and drinkeries are situated.

I wouldn't be surprised if the transformation of this part of the city has been more contentious than my 15 google-minutes suggest. There's some serious wank up on the NewActon website after all. I don't think 'bohemian nights' attract the kind of price tag that our night did. And exactly what 'languid antipastos' entail... ? Well, we may never know. But the place definitely has a laid-back vibe, and the central courtyard space is a lovely destination on a warm night.

Flint itself feels good. Live jazz, super-friendly waitstaff, relaxed punters. The food has a meaty focus with interesting bits n bobs such as garlic snails in pastry, pig trotter and sweetbread carpaccio, and 'duo of rabbit'. Needless to say, old wussbag here did not partake. My inner bogan was intent on the steak frites, which was naughty, tender and tasty. (Just like me - haw haw.) S went with the more sophisticated 'barramundi meuniere', which came with a rich butter, tomato and caper sauce and some good rustic chunks of potato. The veggie sides looked great but we were so overwhelmed by the variety of the menu that we didn't get there.

Did we do dessert? Hell yeah. Lemon, berry and mascarpone millefeuille for me. House compressed watermelon for S. This is where the fairy floss comes in. It was the pinkest dessert I've ever clapped eyes on. Chunks of condensed watermelon, matched with a rose sorbet, Turkish delight and pashmak. A six year old fairy princess would have been delighted. Mouthfuls of yoghurt pannacotta and sesame and pistachio 'soil' provided a counterpoint to the pink. It was very pretty but soooooo sweeeeeet!

All in all, a great night. There was even unexpected entertainment in the form of a resident possum who has clearly hoed into the house bread one too many times and is as affectionate as your nana after a couple of sherries. S displayed some swift reflexes as he literally scooped our furry friend off the table. If only I'd remembered my camera!   

I won't be patronising Flint regularly on my student (non)income, but it would be fun to visit again for a pizza and movie night. Apparently outdoor movie screenings run throughout the year and one of the cute waiters promised he'd fill my hot water bottle for me. 

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Flint Dining Room & Bar
2/15 Edinburgh Avenue, Canberra City
T: 02 6162 3350

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FCT #4: extra holidays

Tomorrow is Canberra Day and that lovely long weekend feeling is all around. As far as I can tell, Canberra Day has been bestowed upon Canberrans so that they can celebrate living in a town which has been bestowed upon with extra holidays. And hey, who's complaining? Definitely not me, now that I'm here to enjoy the bestowment.

And there's so much to enjoy...

Pasta and vino rosso with my new friend AZ on Friday night. I love the way different friendships open up different sides of ourselves. With AZ it's poetry, philosophy, spirituality, music. Stuff that doesn't often find its way into conversation. Special treat stuff.

Yesterday Slim and K and I dipped into You Are Here, a local arts festival that has just kicked off and is running for the next week or so. Slim's mate Rob has created a cool project called Art-Is-An Bread where punters swap stuff for bread. Delicious sourdough bread. Delicious sourdough bread which we slathered with other (edible) stuff and thoroughly enjoyed. But before eating bread we chucked some ideas at Sexy New Urban Design Team Canberra. Their fun, interactive concept sees the city centre - or at least its crafty likeness - reconfigured and reimagined by punters. Our dreams were turned into cardboard+pipecleaner reality right before our very eyes. My dream involved improved equity for the elephants at the zoo. I may dream some new dreams before the week is through... and I will definitely be back for more bread.

Yesternight a suitor and I double-dipped into You Are Here with a not-quite-successful experimental theatre piece and a delicious dinner at a fancy-pants restaurant. You know those dishes that look too pretty to eat? A swirl of puy lentils here, a gem of potatoey goodness there, a fan of baby artichoke, a dollop of something garlicky, a perfect lamb cutlet. Pretty yumminess. It was a good night filled with more special treat conversation. I've already met some smart people here and that makes me feel lucky!

In other news...

--I started learning to play the guitar last Monday. Smoke on the Water. Yeah.

--I earned me some brownie points by re-oiling ma's back deck. I had forgotten how satisfying DIY can be. No... not that kind of DIY. Gawd you have a dirty mind.

--A family of king parrots have taken up residence in the tree outside my bedroom window. They hang out for most of the day, chattering and cracking into seedpods. They make great company and they're beautiful!

--I broke my buying-da-music-ban for Alex Ebert's solo debut, Alexander. I've missed the whole Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros phenomenon but from what I can tell Ebert is the love-child of Dylan and Devendra Banhart. Y'all know how much I dig freak folk and I've definitely fallen in love with Ebert's single. How could I not? It's got whistling.

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the truth is that I haven't shook my shadow
and everyday it's tryin to trick me into doing battle
calling out 'faker' wanna get me rattled
wanna put me back behind the fence with the cattle
building your lenses digging your trenches
put me on the front line leave me with a dumb mind with no defences
but your defence is 'if you can't stand to feel the pain then you are senseless'
since this I've grown up some different kinda fighter
and when the darkness comes let it INSIDE YOU

and your darkness is shining
my darkness is shining
have faith in ourselves
TRUTH

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FCT #3: fishburgers + ginger beer

Confession time... sometimes weekends make me blue. 

I know that sounds ridiculous. But it's true.

I've never really been able to get to the bottom of it. Sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes I struggle to relax. Sometimes I feel like time is running away from me. Sometimes I'm consumed by chores. Sometimes I can't work out what - from my ever-growing list - I most want to do. And so I fall into a funk. When the funk hits the best option is to get up, get out, and do something. Preferably something fun. Clearly, the worst option is to stay home and mope. Even though that's often the option that calls the loudest.

On Saturday morning I fell prey to the funk for no identifiable reason. So I decided to bite off a deliciously do-able chunk of Canberra and wandered up the road for lunch at Flatheads Fish Cafe.

There's been a takeaway joint at the O'Connor Shops for as long as I can remember. As kids, three potato scallops would take care of a coupla coins from under the couch cushions with no squabbles. But there wasn't much else to spend our hard-found cash on - it was all greasy burgers and chico rolls. Flatheads definitely lifted the game when they took over. There's nothing flash about their simple wooden chairs and tables, and the menu's not fancy either, but it's now a fine fish 'n' chippery. The staff are friendly. The sauce list is a mile long (and includes Mikkel's homemade tomato chutney). And the dulcet tones of Van Halen are on the stereo on this overcast Saturday morning.

Flatheads' fish burgers hold a special place in the hearts of my kin. Slim and Lulu both rate them as the best in the Can and perhaps even the world! And for good reason. They are bloody good fishburgers. Again, there's no frou frou - just fish, lettuce and tomato on a bun. But the bun is soft inside and chewy out, the helping of oakleaf and ripe tomato is generous, the tartar is tasty, and the giant fillet of flaky fish is encased in a light, crunchy crumb. It's gooooooood. It's huuuuuuuuge. And for $8.50 it's about the best value fish feast around.

Guess who's smiling now?--------------------------

Flatheads Fish Cafe
Shop 6, McPherson Street, O'Connor
T: 02 6248 0696
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